I was born into a Muslim family, though we were not devout. As a young woman, I was not interested in religion. I believed in God, but when I thought about suffering, disease, disasters, poverty, and death, I was forced to question God’s existence.
As a university student, I moved away from my family to the city where I eventually pursued a career in communications. As a public relations consultant, I managed branding projects in the press and media. In many ways, I was in a position to be envied by others. I interacted with the wealthy and famous in business and in the arts.
However, personally, I was lost. I had no sense of meaning in life, and I had not found happiness. I often felt like I didn’t really belong to this world, as if my purpose in this life was something other than what I had ever known.
At that point, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and she was forced to stay at home for the treatment. I thought to myself, If my mother dies from cancer, O God, why do we live in the first place?
As my questioning continued, one night, I had a dream. I was in the heavens, on a ship. I was sitting at a table directly across from a man wearing a white smock. He informed me that he was a teacher and that he would unfold the mystery of truth to me. On the table before us was a bowl with stones inside. The man asked me to pick out three stones. Each one I chose was in the shape of a fish. The man said that one stone represented my mother, one myself, and one I would come to understand in time. Then I woke up.
The dream had a powerful effect on me because it was so real! The face of the man was so clear in my memory that, if ever I saw him in real life, I would know for sure. When I shared my dream to my closest relative, she also was affected by it. I thought this dream must be some kind of message. But I had no idea what it was about.
The next night, I had another dream. I was back on the same ship with that same man. He said he would train me. He asked me to extend my hands and open my palms. When I did, I saw a strong light from heaven hitting and reflecting off the center of my palms. The man said that power and healing were in my hands. Again he said, in time you will understand what this means. Then I woke up.
The next night, I had a third dream. This time I was taken to another room aboard the ship. There were bathtubs in this room and women were stepping in and out of these tubs filled with water. There was a curtain to my right. The man pulled the curtain open to show me an available tub. “Do you want to enter the water in this tub?” he asked. “If you do, you will be cleansed. In fact, you will become a new creature.” Then I woke up.
For months, I thought about these three dreams. Although I could not figure out what it all meant, I knew that one day it would be revealed to me. My life began to change. My heart was alive, and it was crying out to me. I knew something was going to happen.
After some time, I decided to move back to where my mother lived. There, I learned that there was a church only five minutes from my house. Unknown to me, my mother would often attend the services there, and one day she invited me to join her. When I entered the building, there was a man at the pulpit speaking, but I didn’t pay attention to him because I was so busy observing my surroundings and the other people there. I enjoyed the singing, and I stayed after the service for coffee.
After an hour of visiting, suddenly a light went on in my head. I was shocked to realize that the man standing in the pulpit was the man in my dreams: his name was Hakan. Even though it had been nine months since I had those dreams, I knew it was him. Suddenly, my eyes were opened. I had never seen him before. Excitedly, I began to tell everyone in the church what had just happened to me.
The people at the church began to explain to me that this was the call of God upon my life and that the symbols in my dreams were in harmony with Scripture. I was amazed and shocked. When they started to pray for me, I felt the presence of God flowing into me. God spoke to my heart and, in a single moment, I understood the message of my dreams.
That day, I took a New Testament home with me. For the next three days, I read it day and night. Every sentence amazed me. I became conscious of my own sin. I started seeing visions. As God spoke to me and revealed mysteries to me, I lost touch with my immediate surroundings. I stopped eating and drinking, and I became increasingly heavy in my spirit about the sinfulness of mankind in the eyes of God. My whole body ached with the agony that God felt toward the world, and I began to repent with tears for my own sin.
Eventually, my family became so concerned for me that they took me to the hospital. I couldn’t explain to them what I was going through. The psychiatrists examined me and said that I needed at least two weeks of treatment. Fortunately, my mother perceived what was happening to me and refused the treatment on my behalf. Actually, the Holy Spirit was already treating me, so we went home, where my mother placed her hands on me and prayed. Immediately, the visions stopped, and I felt strengthened. I started eating again and was able to talk normally.
After this, I started life afresh. I began attending church regularly as a believer and made steady progress in knowing God. My life radically changed as I consecrated myself to Christ. I began to serve God, share the Gospel, and pray for the sick. God enabled some to believe, while others were miraculously healed, and still others were delivered from evil spirits.
Now I take advantage of every opportunity to share the Gospel. I help lead worship at our church, and I enjoy fellowship with other believers. Every day, I praise God for revealing the truth to me. I want many, many more people to understand this salvation.
Christ continues to make me new too. As a result, I am more patient, more understanding, more humble, more peaceful, and more happy. I pray that I will continue in this way, as I come to resemble Christ.
My passion is for all of creation to hear the Gospel. Before I knew Christ, I thought that I must have a special assignment in this world—now I know exactly what that is. My assignment is to bear witness to Christ!
“For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21
