Not Allowed to Die

Because of bad business decisions, my husband and I also lost everything. We had to borrow money from loan sharks–criminals who pressured and threatened us to pay back the debt.

The threats steadily increased, until my husband and I were so depressed and overwhelmed that we decided that it would be better to commit suicide. First, I took a lot of pills, but my family found me and saved my life. Then my husband tried to drive us off a cliff, but a truck cut in front of us. We had to veer back onto the road, so that suicide attempt didn’t work. You cannot imagine how desperate and depressed we felt! I even tried to hang myself, but the chair didn’t fall the right way. No matter how we tried, it seemed like we were not allowed to die.

Finally, we ran away to the far-eastern part of Isaan province where we hoped that the loan sharks couldn’t find us, yet we still could not escape our feelings of hopelessness. In the Isaan, my aunt helped us to rent a house; it was right next door to a building where people seemed to gather a lot. Every day I heard so much laughter, prayer and singing. I wondered, What are they doing over there?

Then we found out that this was a Christian church, right next to the house we were renting. Believers from this Pon Phi Sai church started to invite us over, generously sharing their food. Before long, we became really good friends. When they told us their stories of how Jesus had revealed his power and love to them, I knew that we needed this same love! So, my husband and I surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ, and began to truly live–for the first time. 

Now, I am part of a group that goes out every Friday and Saturday to share the Good News. Every week people are saved, healed and receive hope from my testimony. I can hardly believe my life now! Not that long ago, my husband and I held hands and wished we could die together. Now we hold hands and pray together every night!