“We have had many assemblies over the years,” said Carlos Ortega, president of the MB conference of Mexico (ICPM), “including pastoral retreats. Yet some of us were still having a hard time even remembering each others’ names.”
Over his seven-year tenure as president, Ortega has made many changes to the structure and health of the conference. Much of his focus has been in addressing the decades-long disarray of the legal status and financial procedures of ICPM. It was a monumental task. The task ahead, however, seemed in some ways even more daunting. Their nine churches had been together since the 1970s.
History has not led to intimacy.
“We don’t really know each other,” Carlos confessed. “Good administration is one thing; good relationship is another!”
In considering how to build trust between the pastors, Ortega and the ICPM board met to discuss a planned pastoral retreat, held annually at the Matthew Training Center in Guadalajara. At that meeting, Multiply global worker Israel Chavez, current vice president of ICPM, spoke up.
“Can we really know each other well, or be known, without telling our stories?” he asked. “And those stories include our spouses, and our children. Let’s make this a retreat for entire families.”
“It is the family that allows, strengthens, and even motivates a pastor to serve. Pastors can do nothing without that support.”
Chavez pointed out that most of their gatherings were either entirely business-related, or else training events. “There is never time in our agenda for relationship,” he said. “What are we communicating to our pastors? From my perspective as a pastor, we are not honoring the role that the family plays in ministry. It is my family that allows, strengthens and motivates me to serve. Pastors can do nothing without that support.”
With this in mind, the retreat for February 2025 was rebranded as a pastoral family retreat. Invitations were sent out to the various churches. Ironically, at first no one took it seriously. Even our children? they asked, incredulous. Even your children, they were assured.
At the retreat, agenda-free time was allocated for relationship building, as well as intentional times where participants were invited to share their personal stories. “It was beautiful to watch this community become more than just names and faces,” commented Chavez. “These are real lives that have been through all the ups and downs that life can throw at them. We learned things about each other that we had never heard before.”
One of the stories was that of Gilmar and his wife Esther, who pastor a church in Tijuana. Together, they set the bar for trust and vulnerability as they shared how they had both come to Christ from a background of crime, drugs, homelessness and despair.
“We have not been caring well for our pastors,” Ortega acknowledged, “and Latino men don’t ask for help! We have not known each other’s struggles and needs. Now, we do.”
“Gilmar was actually a sex trafficker,” Chavez said. “We were shocked to hear this. We had no idea! God saved him in a miraculous way and called him out of that life. One day he was on a street handing out tracts, and gave one to a prostitute. He did not know, at the time, that this woman was on the verge of suicide. That woman was Esther!”
Eventually they fell in love, married, and went into full-time ministry together. “It’s an incredible story of redemption and grace!” Chavez said, “and it was so impactful for us to get to know who they really are.”
The pastoral family retreat allowed for ample time for these kinds of relational encounters. Space was then made for envisioning the growth of ICPM. “There were no rules, no restrictions, and nothing was impossible,” Chavez remembered. “Together, we shared our dreams for the future. Afterward, when we finally got around to our official business meeting, we were all so much more united. Everything went so much better and easier.”
As the retreat drew to a close, there was strong consensus that this newfound sense of closeness should not be taken for granted. A decision was made to create accountability groups: three family units that would meet online regularly for relationship and personal prayer. A pastoral council was also appointed to better care for church and ministry leaders.
“We have not been caring well for our pastors,” Ortega acknowledged, “and Latino men don’t ask for help! We have not known each other’s struggles and needs. Now, we do.”
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The Matthew Training Centre team disciples and trains North American and Latino young adults for global mission through their HADIME progam. For more information on their mission training program please go to multiply.net/mtc
