A Longing for Belonging

The MB value of family has been a key factor in attracting global churches into our extended family, called ICOMB (International Community of Mennonite Brethren). And this should come as no surprise.

When I read the creation story, I see God’s value of family. He fills the whole earth, sea and sky with an abundance of life, but then he tasks the multiplication of humans to just one couple. God could have created a multitude of people; instead, Adam and Eve are told to fill the earth by becoming the first family. Multiplication through family is God’s idea. 

Family can help give us an identity that is bigger than our own individual identity; people need this, and churches need this, too. ICOMB was created to connect global churches that might otherwise feel isolated. Without a sense of belonging, churches, like people, can struggle with fear, loneliness and a sense of inadequacy. 

I know this from personal experience. As a new believer in my early twenties, another man in church called me “brother.” This had an incredible impact on me at the time. I remember thinking, These are not just words for him. This is a reality. These are people who want to know me, who think about me, who will care for me and help me in a crisis. This is family.

The longing for belonging creates a desire to be present with one another. There is no substitute for proximity. I have especially noticed this among the Khmu churches in Southeast Asia and with my friend, Boon, who is in full-time ministry there. He and other believers in his country face constant opposition and persecution. Each time we visit them, there is an outpouring of appreciation—even amazement—that we care enough to be with them in their suffering. 

I think their “amazement” is due to our reputation in the West of often valuing productivity and function over relationship. Ours is a history of pioneers and individualists. “You would not last long in my country,” Boon once told me. “Here, you need family just to survive.”

When Boon attended his first ICOMB global summit, he immediately gravitated towards delegates from other regions facing religious persecution. To him, they were like long-lost brothers. They shared an instant sense of solidarity. In the same way, when he heard the history of the Mennonite Brethren persecution, he knew he had found a place to belong. 

“As a minority people group,” he explained to me, “we Khmu have also been oppressed by those in power. Even more so, as followers of Jesus! This is an Animist culture under a Communist regime; there is no place for Christians here.” 

Boon went on to describe how the homes of Khmu believers are burned down, or torn apart board by board. They are expelled from their villages, and disowned by their extended families. That kind of rejection, in a shame-honor culture, is crushing. 

For me, it is an honor to be a part of Boon’s life and ministry. He is the same age as my oldest son, but mostly we relate as if we were brothers. Although sometimes—like when he calls me to complain about his kids—he calls me “Grampa”! We have been in each other’s houses many times, laughing and crying together. Yet even when we are thousands of miles apart, there is a strong bond that holds us together. I think this is the kind of oneness that God wants us to have in Christ.

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Learn more about our global MB family from the International Community of Mennonite Brethren at icomb.org.